I am never meant to meet this man, it’s just not suppose to happen - ever! And why the fuck am I beating myself up about it and being all miserable and stuff?! It’s pathetic….I’m a bloody idiot!!
But…I just wanna meet him so BAD!! I get jealous of other girls meeting him - especially those who have NO soddin’ clue who he is - just that he plays Jasper! And I’m getting to the stage where I want to slap everyone else, because it’s not me meeting him. And people don’t get it….or at least no one I know gets it. They just humour me or laugh at me or ignore it. But it’s like this constant need in my life and I don’t know why. Kinda like that’s all I’m striving for. I am seriously losing the plot!!
Meeting anyone else I liked has always been fairly easy. With Jackson it is proving to be impossible…for me!! Easy for many others….but not for me!! He’s never going to come to a convention here…I just don’t think they’ll ever get him signed up…or if they did he would cancel and break my heart all the more. 100 Monkeys are never going to tour here - just a lot of talk on their part I think about what they would like. And he’s never going to be here for any other reason that I can think of or find out about to get to meet him…unless it was a premiere and that’s not gonna happen now. I should just totally give up on being hopeful about anything at all ever again - because we all know how that works out….in utter disappointment!!
And I had a shitty day anyways! Arguing with complete imbeciles at the post office who know nothing of what they are talking about! I got charged with a customs fee on a package from the USA - a package from 100 Monkeys that I had ordered. I knew there should be no such fee because the item in question was under £18 and we’re allowed up to £18 before fee’s are added. So I went down there to pick it up armed with a ton of evidence of how much it actually cost me - but she didn’t want to know. Just said they were only collecting it on their behalf and that was that - and trying to tell me it was charged on all goods - I don’t fucking well think so you idiot!!
So, then she wouldn’t accept cards…and I didn’t have enough cash on me. So had to walk back into town, get to the bank, get cash out, go back to the sorting office and pay the damn fine I shouldn’t have to pay!! And then when I’m finally given my package, I discover why I was fined. The idiots who packed it had printed the wrong price on the customs label - $30 rather than $20 - meaning it looked as though it was over £18, which is why they charged me. So…an email has gone to them today in complaint and I’m expecting loads of freebies to make up for that - preferably Jackson in my bed!
So, after all that and fuming about that…to get online tonight and discover the TLA cast had been in London for a press conference was just the icing on the fucking cake!! I doubt I would have gotten anywhere near him at a press conference anyway, even if I knew where it was. But I was hoping he might do something public here where I could see him - a premiere, TV show - anything!!
But, nope….I don’t get sod all of what I hope for. I just get shit, and if I dare get too happy about something, bad things happen anyways! So, I’m giving up on hope altogether.
Karma owes me big time in my next life! And I WILL collect!!!
xC
P.S. My Eclipse 'review type thingy' will come soon!! I'm almost done with work for the summer (and who the hell am I talking to - no one reads my crap!)
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