The one with my dilemma!

So….I kinda, maybe have this huge dilemma in my life to deal with. I mean, it’s not life or death we’re talking, but it’s a pretty big deal to me and no one seems to get that, and there’s no one I can really talk to about it, either because they don’t understand, or because it might upset them.

So, here’s the thing…there is talk of the family going away to Disney World later this year, over half term in October and a week one side or the other. This hadn’t been mentioned for awhile, so I’d stopped worrying about it, but it was brought up again tonight and mentioned about needing to book soon.



And then…100 Monkeys are supposed to be planning International tour dates for this fall/winter. I had hoped for the summer, but nope! No one wants to schedule around me obviously or make my life just that bit easier :p *sigh*



So, here’s the thing - I want to do both. Dad has mentioned this might be the last time we go to Florida (because he claims he’s getting old!) and I really wanna go to be with the family and experience it all one last time…and just because I do love the place!! And yet…I’ve been dying to see 100 Monkeys live for the last…18 months at least now, maybe more. And yeah, it has a lot to do with the fact I like their music and their shows always look fun, but…it has a lot more to do with this weird desperate need I seem to have to meet/see Jackson in the flesh!!


So…what do I do?! What if they happen at the same time?! They come here, and I head off to the US - because that would just be my damn luck!! Always in the wrong bloody country!! I mean, if I don’t go to the US I’d upset my family and have them annoyed at me. And I’d miss the fun they were having. But then if I do go and 100 Monkeys come…I’ll be upset and crazy jealous of others who got to go and will sit and cry and mope about it!! Might be different if I knew they would tour as often here as they do the US, but this might be a one off thing for them!



I daren’t even mention to my Mum that I’m worried about this clashing…and how I’d hate to miss either and will be so upset if I had to, because I know she‘ll be upset. And I don’t even wanna think about throwing the next convention into the mix - because if Jackson was added I’d SO wanna go and kick up a huge fuss and tantrum if I couldn’t (not that I can see it being likely!)

What if I decide I'm not going to DisneyWorld and they book it all without me. And then 100 Monkeys either don't come at all....or they don't come during that time. OR....I miss out on Monkey tickets, don't buy any, incase we're going to Florida and then we don't go during those dates at all?!

And I’m just SO confused and worried about it all. I mean, nothing is definite yet for either. No holiday is booked and no dates have been confirmed for the band. And maybe that’s the worst thing, because I don’t know whether to panic about it or not. And no one else seems to understand my dilemma about it all or how much this all means to me or why it‘s almost upsetting me. And it just sucks - because you wait months for something fun to happen, to actually live a bit and then it all threatens to happen at the same time!!



I mean, even if they don’t clash…how am I supposed to beg a week off work to go away and then maybe have to beg for more time off for a tour? They might not give me either, they might be mean gits who seem to think my life should revolve around them and I’m not allowed a life. Well, I’m sorry - but life can not always fall into school holidays - people don’t schedule around me. I mean, I have a damn job to earn money to afford the things I want to do in life. But then, I’m not allowed the time off to do those things!! It sucks - most normal jobs you’re allowed to pretty much choose when you take a holiday and book time off, not for us. And that pisses me off!!



So, if both things did happen and by some miracle someone actually liked me and they didn’t clash….I’d probably have to lie to get the time off to do things. Beg for the week off for the holiday and then call in sick for the tour. Because all I do know is, I am not missing this tour for anything! I’m not going to be told I can’t do something I really want to do. I mean, I did consider quitting if they didn‘t let me have the time off, but then I’d be broke and not able to afford anything else, so...not a good idea!! And it’s all just aaargh!! I’m stressing about things I can’t control and I don’t even know will happen yet.



I wish someone could give me some advice…or sympathise or just get a damn crystal ball and tell me everything will work out fine and to stop worrying!! Where the hell is Alice Cullen when you need her?!?!


xC