The friend moan blog part 2

Okay…so I have come to some conclusions/decisions (? hmm…not sure!) in the last few days…it’s been on my mine and I have worked out that perhaps I am a bit of a whinge bag, in regards to my whole ‘my friends don’t like me’ blog.

So, my friends don’t like me…so what? I’m still a rock star (erm…actually I’m not!) but…there are a million worse things that could be happening to my world than a few silly people who have forgotten me.

I’m actually very lucky - I have a safe place to live, I have food, shelter, warmth and love. I have a job I actually don’t mind and money of my own. I have a Mum who loves me, a niece and nephew who adore me and a cat who worships me. I have a lot.

I know that some people have none of that. I know that some people are struggling to simply live right now and for me to complain about being alone is pretty, well, pathetic! Someone I’m friendly with (we email - haven’t met yet) has just lost her Mother to cancer…I could be trying to deal with that. People all over the world are losing their jobs, their homes and their families. People are dying because they have not enough food, clean water or simple medicine. People are missing loved ones who are out fighting the bad guys in order to give us freedom and peace.

I need to get a grip and just move on. Because perhaps it’s not all about them. Perhaps I simply don’t need these people in my life anymore. It’s strange, maybe I’m like the earth and my friends are the sun - I rotate around them whilst they stay the same. The way that the earth rotates and the sun stays still. Because these people were a part of my life when I needed them….and then when I move on or change my tastes, they stay the same, unbending (and sometimes none understanding) and we somehow drift apart.

But perhaps we were meant to? It’s hard, sure…to lose friends who meant a lot to you. And it’s harder still to realise you are so forgettable. But…I’ve tried to keep it going with them, I’ve tried to keep the friendship together and be understanding…yet I can’t do it alone. I can’t force people to like me and I can’t keep chasing after people who have already let me go. So, I’m giving up - they know where I am if they want me! So, maybe it’s just meant to be this way and perhaps I just need to move on without them

And maybe I should learn to trust humanity a little more again and let others in again. I can’t block everyone out to prevent myself from possibly being hurt in the future…because then I am going to be alone forever and become the crazy old cat lady.

One day I will work out my place in this world…I have to fit in somewhere.