Farewell to a legend, my childhood hero...RIP Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson has been a part of my life for 25 years. For almost 7 of those years he was my entire life. He was my childhood hero…my first true crush - the first man I claimed I was going to marry! He got me through my difficult teenage years - giving me dreams, focus, music and escapism.

And now he’s gone.

I still can’t believe it. Last night, when I first heard, I was in stunned shock. I didn’t want to believe it - when I first read comments on Twitter I thought people were being sick - the usual dumb ass jokes Michael was plagued with. Then I went on Face book - more comments and I began to think something had actually happened. I googled…my heart pounding….not wanting it to be true - hoping it was some sick joke. And then I turned on Sky news and the tears fell.

It’s not fair…it’s a devastating loss to the world - not just musically…but to mankind. Why do the good guys always get taken first? Why is life so cruel?

Much has been written about Michael throughout his lifetime…much of it not at all nice. Much of it lies, misunderstandings and just plain vile. And I think it’s so incredibly sad that especially at this time, people refer to those lies, rather than focusing on what a musical genius he was - single handed changed the face of music as we know it today - without him the music video phenomenon may never have taken off. Or what a kind hearted soul he actually was - he worked tirelessly for many charities especially for children. He gave disadvantages children opportunities they would never otherwise have - he truly cared.

He was a misunderstood, vulnerable, innocent soul. I don’t think he ever truly grew up - he looked through life with the eyes of an innocent child. He trusted the wrong people who ultimately hurt him. I will never forgive the media for what they put him through or how they treated him.

I will never ever believe any of the charges brought against him - that was not him. I’m not going to argue the case here, but it was simply not true - he did not, would not ever do those things. I will never believe half of what was written about him. Yes, he led a strange life - but you become a worldwide phenomena at the age of 8 and have everything you do cast in the limelight from then on. You grow up without a childhood - you’ll live a strange life. Just because he was different does not make him weird or a freak or unworthy of the outpouring of grief and love.

This whole thing is so tragically sad, devastating, shocking. A man that makes an album that more than 60 million people wanted to buy should be treated better than this…he doesn’t owe the world a damn thing! He achieved so much in his life…broke records, started trends, changed dance and inspired a whole generation in so many ways. And it’s horrible that a man that had so many highs in his life didn’t get to finish things properly…he didn’t get to prove to the world that he had more to give…that he was not over. The chance was stolen from him.

I confess to finding myself a little surprised at how upset I am about it all, how I can’t stop crying. Most of the music channels had MJ tributes all afternoon - I sat watching some in floods of tears. Every time I read/watch/hear something new, I cry again. I guess it’s true - you do never get over your first love. He was a major part of my life - I was completely obsessive about him. And I think I always held a soft spot for him - I never stopped being a loyal supporter, even if my tastes/loves changed throughout the years.

I will never stop fiercely defending him or his memory. I won’t stand for any sick jokes, any jibes or inappropriate comments. Those that do so to my face - be that in person or via the web- will find themselves deleted.

May you rest in peace Michael. May you find freedom from this cruel world who never truly understood you, never fully appreciated you and probably didn’t deserve you. May your children and family find comfort from happy memories. My thoughts and love are with you all.

Farewell Michael Joseph Jackson, King Of Pop…my hero. I will miss you. The world is a sadder place without you.

I’ll never let you part, for you’re always in my heart.